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Alphabet officials are remaining tightlipped about the upcoming changes to the English lettering system. Rumors, however, are rampant about a new modification that would involve, among other things, removing the letter H from the popular 26 letter series.

“Without going into to much detail,” said Lahr Heferhef, chairperson of the Alphanumeric Development Consortium, “the beta version of the new alphabet that would see some significant changes to some letters.”

“The Letter H has always been problematic.”, continued Heferhef. “Unfortunately, its presence causes many issues that cascade down into the entire language. When testing completes on the Beta release, this letter will be completely removed.”

As well as dropping the popular letter H, the consortium has also recommended that an extra loop be added to all capital W’s and that the letter X be deprecated. It is therefore recommended that the letter X be used sparingly in this next release, as it will most likely be absent from subsequent alphabets.

“This is a positive step forward,” said Heferhef. “We believe this next release will be the finest alphabet to date.”

There has been sharp criticism from the corporate sector, especially from computer giant Hewlett Packard. A spokesperson from the computer company said that they could see a significant loss of market share if they had to change their name to a lone ‘Ewlett Packard’.

Fiorina, the CEO of HP, also spoke with the press. “Yes I’m very concerned. I don’t think that anybody will know what P is! We have worked hard at branding our company as HP and will fight this change tooth and nail. We have been using the prior release of the alphabet for many years and have never had any issues. We do not believe that this change is necessary, nor will it be a good thing for business.”

Fiorina was noticeably angry. However, she conceded that if the changes do take place, HP would have to fall in line. “Once it is gone, it is gone and we will have to move on.”

Proponents of this change include IBM, Gateway and General Electric. Each of these companies has been lobbying for these changes for quite some time.

It is expected that the beta version of this new alphabet will be complete by the end of this month and that the full alpha release of the alphabet will be publicly available sometime in early 2004.

Comments
on Nov 03, 2003
really?
on Nov 03, 2003
would it be said if it wasn't true?
on Nov 03, 2003
maybe
on Nov 03, 2003
oh
on Nov 07, 2003
what?