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U.S. Government Unveils New Plan to Ignore Canada
Published on October 23, 2003 By
McKormick Astley
In
Current Events
Article Link
The White House
In a briefing held today at the
Whitehouse
, United States Secretary of State,
Colin Powel
, revealed the Governments new initiative to shun the nation of Canada.
"This plan puts to rest the unrest that the people of Montana, Washington and those other Border States have been concerned about.” Powel said. "We will no longer consider Canada as our friend, as an ally, as an enemy or even as a country. For us, they will no longer exist. Terra alba, terra cotta, terra firma!"
When questioned about the government’s tone in relation to the new plan, Mr. Powel could not remember the new plan.
The plan involves three major phases. The first phase is to not answer or return any phone calls from the people of Canada. The second requires the removal of the word 'Canada' from all American produced television shows or movies. And the third step, which has been criticized as being too sinister, involves shutting down the water to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls.
Sources in Washington maintain that they were unaware of this alleged country. However, they also mentioned that they would fully endorse the Bill, which is slated for Senate approval sometime later this week
Senate Republican Whip,
Mitch McConnell
was unavailable for comment but left a prepared statement for the press. In his statement, he verified that the Canada does have nation status but that fact alone should not necessitate the attention of the US Government.
In an uncommon show of nonpartisanship, Minority Leader
Tom Daschle
agreed. "Yes, I have heard of Canada,” he said. "The people there are boring. I used to hate them. Now, because of this Bill, I know longer have to care."
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Comments
1
McKormick Astley
on Oct 23, 2003
no
2
KarmaGirl
on Oct 23, 2003
Makes as much sense as most goverment actions. LOL
But, if we ignore them, how can we "blame Canada"?
3
McKormick Astley
on Nov 03, 2003
yes
4
McKormick Astley
on Nov 05, 2003
maybe
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