A new study today released by the Adolescent Regression Awareness Group or ARAG, determined that the routine procedure of brushing ones teeth, coupled with dentifrice, a popular toothpaste additive, can be linked to rebellious teenage activities such as drinking, smoking and small vehicle racing.

The study, published in the New England Journal of Medicine has been widely criticized by dentists and parents. It indicates that dentifrice reacts adversely with the routine behavior of tooth brushing and can cause 'uncontrolled and dangerous' behaviors. It further claims that the dangerous side effects of this ‘lethal’ combination are the strongest in children between the ages of 12 and 19.

The response to this finding has been very strong.

"Frankly, I'm outraged,” said one dentist who wished to remain anonymous although mentioned his name was Emmet Robins. "This is a throwback to the middle ages when people didn't brush their teeth and dentists were more like blood-letters!".

One parent mentioned her disbelief that such a study would be published. "My children will still be brushing their teeth!” said Mrs. White, a playschool teacher and mother of 9. "I do not believe this for one second, although I will have to think about it.”

However, children everywhere were expressing relief that they would finally be able to determine the feelings of rebellion they have been experiencing.

“This gives me hope for tomorrow,” said one 9th grader. “I can finally put more effort into my schoolwork now that my emotions are under control.”

The study concluded by suggesting that although brushing can be a positive experience for adults and younger children, teenagers should be encouraged to just 'skip brushing' for the remainder of their adolescence.