A new study today released by the Adolescent Regression Awareness Group or ARAG, determined that the routine procedure of brushing ones teeth, coupled with dentifrice, a popular toothpaste additive, can be linked to rebellious teenage activities such as drinking, smoking and small vehicle racing. The study, published in the New England Journal of Medicine has been widely criticized by dentists and parents. It indicates that dentifrice reacts adversely with the routine behavior of tooth brushi...

Broken News:Breaking Headlines In a swift and deliberate move yesterday, Senators united in lifting the age-old travel ban to Cuba. In an official stated released to the press, spokesperson Ian Duncan said, "We apologize to Cubans everywhere. The United States Senate honestly believed that the words 'Cuba' and 'Cuban' were slang terms for 'Iraq' and 'Iraqi Soldiers'”. The President, who stood in sharp disagreement with the Senate, issued his own statement. "The Whitehouse will not r...

The White House In a briefing held today at the Whitehouse , United States Secretary of State, Colin Powel , revealed the Governments new initiative to shun the nation of Canada. "This plan puts to rest the unrest that the people of Montana, Washington and those other Border States have been concerned about.” Powel said. "We will no longer consider Canada as our friend, as an ally, as an enemy or even as a country. For us, they will no longer exist. Terra alba, terra cotta, terra ...

broken news:breaking headlines Alphabet Home Alphabet officials are remaining tightlipped about the upcoming changes to the English lettering system. Rumors, however, are rampant about a new modification that would involve, among other things, removing the letter H from the popular 26 letter series. “Without going into to much detail,” said Lahr Heferhef , chairperson of the Alphanumeric Development Consortium , “the beta version of the new alphabet that would see some significant ...

Microsoft Corporation Broken News:Breaking Headlines After finally reaching a $10.5m settlement with Be Software, it looks as though Microsoft will be heading to court again. Netscape, Microsoft’s chief rival in the browser wars, has launched a new legal case against the company’s founder, Bill Gates. In a lawsuit filed in Washington state, Netscape claims that Bill Gates has used ‘unfair eternal connections’ and ‘anti-competitive demonic powers’ to thwart Netscape’s atte...